May 16th, 2003
There's some controversial stuff in today's edition, that's for sure ... especially our first letter. Man, oh man, some WEIRD people visit this site!
Sorry we've been out of commission for awhile. We're back now. There are a lot of letters backed up ... many of them talking about swimsuit Zelda, Chaz screwing the Deku Tree, and all that other cool stuff. Don't worry, I'll get around to printing most of them. In the meantime, keep e-mailing us at email@example.com. We love hearing from you.
Andy writes: hey guess what. i took zelda to the prom.
Ice replies: You ... what? You took Zelda to the prom? You mean, like, you put the game in your pocket and went? Or do you seriously think that you took Princess Zelda to the prom?
Chaz adds: I hope you made a move on her. And when you did, I hope she turned into Sheik and busted your butt.
Ice replies: Andy, you've been writing us for awhile now, and I seriously don't know what to make of you buddy. You tell us you hate Zelda, you tell us you have "swimsuit zelda in" your "closet", and now you're telling us that you took Zelda to the prom?
Chaz adds: You're quickly becoming the Site Idiot, pal.
Hey Ice, print that swimsuit zelda closet one.
Andy writes: i have swimsuit zelda in my closet.
Ice replies: There you go, Chaz ...
Chaz adds: Oh... I thought maybe there was a little more to it than that.
Ice replies: Listen, Andy ... take your medicine before you get on the computer. And when you actually get on the computer, maybe have a parent help you or something. I'm sure that your parents know by now that leaving you unattended is a bad idea.I have more letters from our friend Andy, but I think we should give the intelligent members of our community the spotlight now.
Andrea writes: Is the site in trouble or something? There hasn't been an update in a long time...
I don't know if you still answer questions or not, but I have one for the Wind Waker. I know there's a Song of Passing or something that does the same thing as the Sun Song. Where do I get it? Thanks for your help! Happy Easter!
Ice replies: The following sentence contains a spoiler ...
Go to the rainbow disco dude that dances in front of the grave or whatever, and bust out your Wind Waker. He'll get all excited and stuff, and start making hand motions. Imitate them (I think it's right, left, down), and he'll give you the Song of Passing.
And even though this reply is coming a bit late, Happy Easter to you, too.
Jerry writes: That poem that Jordan wrote last week was total ****. Why the **** would you print something so ******* stupid?
Look at me, I'm a ****
I don't know when to quit
I sit and sit and sit
And type out tons of ****
Get a life man!
Ice replies: Ummm ... thanks for your input, Jerry. Truth is, I think Jordan put a little more thought into his letter than you did, and I enjoyed his more.
Chaz adds: The next guy disagrees with you, Jerry. Hope you can handle it.
Ice replies: Yeah ... without me having to star out your reply.
Tom writes: Jordan's poem was a nice touch to the last edition. You should ask for more poetry submissions, and tell people to spend more time on them and make them longer.
Ice replies: It was definitely more creative than my usual e-mails. And I encourage you guys to be creative with your letters. "Hi, I love your site" is GREAT, don't get me wrong, but the "Hi, I love your site" letters usually don't get printed.
Ice: Well now, there was quite a bit of conflict in today's edition of letters. And as for Andy, I know that you guys will have plenty to say to him for the next couple editions. He took Zelda to the prom? He has "swimsuit zelda" in his closet?Speaking of "swimsuit zelda", there's still a ton of e-mails about that whole controversy in my mailbox. It's been a month or two since the whole thing started, so I'm sure everyone's pretty much done with it by now, but I'll still print some of them. It's kinda one of those things that are just hard to get over, you know?
Have something to say? E-mail the editor at firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll probably print your letter. We'll print anything.