January 1st, 2000

Wraith writes: I've read the numerous letters glorifying Nebula about her looks. Well, she's no goddess. I pity you all in your town if she looks like a goddess to you. You all probably have women running around in your streets like dogs. Nebula looks like Ivanna Humpalot from The Spy That Shagged Me.

Maniacal Clown: Well...you can think that all you want. I think she's quite attractive myself.

Ice: Beauty is only skin-deep.

Mealiee writes: I was on another web site that is Nintendo certified. They say that the
triforce is not in the game. Now I am confused. Why would Nintendo make up a
lie even for a joke?

Maniacal Clown: The Triforce, of course, isn't in the game. Nintendo.com ran an April Fools joke about how to get the Triforce in Zelda 64. Needless to say, a few people believed it...

MWBig writes: have a question about Zelda 64. Actually several questions. However, I
will attempt to keep this brief unless others are zealous to share their
knowledge. I have searched numerous Web pages and either I am inept or have
not searched long enough.

What is the purpose behind the magic been plant in the obscure room with a
single tree in the lost woods? I noticed a platform on the top of the tree,
but the Ocarina songs I tried had no effect.

Whenever I see Navi go to and turn green above a spot where nothing seems to
be special, I run through the gambit of Ocarina songs. Often, either the
song of storms produces a large fairy or the scarecrow song produces Pierre.
However, sometimes nothing happens. For example, above the first row of
hedges at the entrance of the sacred meadow in the lost woods. Also, at the
dead-end of a cavern on the bottom level of the well. Can anyone shed light
on this?

Maniacal Clown: Sometimes, she has something insanely stupid and/or obvious to say about the objects in a room...maybe that's what she's trying to do there.

Ice: There have been several cases where Navi has turned colors for no apparent reason. I had asked Koji Kondo about this, who had done the sound for Zelda 64, and he says she prolly does this because there was originally something there that had been taken out of the game.

C (Galactiger) writes: I don't mean to be rude, but...your Character Encyclopedia fro Zelda V sucks.
Link has blond hair, Saria never matures since she is a Kokiri, you can't
really know how old a Kokiri is because they don't grow up, and Zelda isn't
even on the list! It's not finished, is it?
P.S. You said to e-mail if you were missing info...

Maniacal Clown: I have no idea what's going on with the character encyclopedia. That's the one area of this site that completly escapes me. I think it's some crazy idea of Ice's for a sort of funny take on the normal character bios that you see.

Ice: No, it's not finished. It's far from finished. I have a few projects to work on, but then I'll be able to spend more time on it.

CASH writes: Zelda is my life the rest is just details

Maniacal Clown: What is this thing "life" that you speak of? What goes on outside this slave labor prison?