Top Ten Mysteries of Zelda 64

By Maniacal Clown

#10: Is there anyway to get higher than that guy on the tower BESIDES somking crack?

#9: Why doesn't the dancing couple ever collapse from dizziness?

#8: How can Ganondorf manage to make his castle float over molten lava, but can't defeat a stupid kid in white tights?

#7: Why am I writing this?

#6: You have to wonder...where'd those tights come from in the first place? Was Link's tunic riding up during his seven year "sleep," and Rauru just got tired of looking at it?

#5: Where does Link store all those different weapons ans stuff? I mean, does he have bottomless pockets, or what?

#4: Why is Navi so damned annoying? (I'm sorry, I had to say it. I want some flame mail from all you Navi-lovers!)

#3: If there's only one male born every 100 years or so, how do the Gerudo reproduce?

#2: How does all that chain fit in the hookshot? (That one's been bugging me for a while.)


#1: Why does Saria wear shorts and all the other Kokiri girls wear skirts? Is she a non-conformist? BURN HER!!!

Well...that was pointless. Tune in next week when we discuss the top ten evil things I like to do when people chew gum right next to my ear!

~Maniacal Clown
Incredibly Stupid...But Just Plain Fun...