May 20th, 2003
I've been getting quite a few letters about swimsuit Zelda, and frankly, I don't think this ordeal is going to end. So here's the deal, Zelda Spirit fans ... I'm going to be printing letters about the swimsuit Zelda thing for the next three editions only (and this one is included in that). Then we're taking a break from swimsuit Zelda for awhile, ok? I've got a lot of letters about it already, enough to pretty much fill up three editions, so that's why I chose that number. They've been kinda gathering in my inbox the past month or so ... so people, if you want your input on swimsuit Zelda to be printed, write me a letter fast, because I mean it, after this week or however long it takes to get three editions out, we're laying it to rest for awhile.
I'm glad we've all found something to talk about though.
Keep e-mailing us at email@example.com. We love hearing from you.
Kurt writes: swimsuit zelda GIMMY GIMMY GIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ice replies: I've always liked starting out editions of Letters with the stupidest one-liner I receive.
Chaz adds: This was an interesting letter. There was some punctuation and some caps, but he had too many caps and not enough punctuation.
Ice muses: "GIMMY" ... I like that ...
Chaz adds: I think he was going for "GIMMEE", as in "give me", but if I were to try to pronounce it, I would actually say something like "Jimmy".
Ice replies: Ok, I checked with Microsoft Sam, and he more or less agrees with you, Chaz (more on the less side). So is he asking for some hot pictures of the princess while screaming a guy's name?
Chaz adds: You mean... there's something wrong with that?
Ice backs away slowly: Oh yeah ... you ... and the Deku Tree ...
Allison writes: Tell me where the Swimsuit Zelda kid lives, so I can go pluck his balls like grapes.
Ice falls down: OUCH!
Chaz is convulsing: I think that is the worst mental image ever.
Ice is dizzy: I'll never look at grapes the same way again.
Chaz feels woozy: I'll never look at anything the same way again...
Carla_2001 writes: I have a thing or two to say about this swimsuit business.
Point One: The only reason that anyone would want to look at Zelda in her swimsuit is to get sexual pleasure. I don't care if there is no touching or intercourse, that person is having visual sex with her. Because the person looking at "Swimsuit Zelda" is doing so for sexual pleasure, then it's pornography. Pornography is wrong.
Point Two: Zelda is not real. Even the webmasters have said this. Get it through your thick heads!
Point Three: Zelda is a crossdresser. Why would you want to have visual sex with a crossdresser?
There you go! Three reasons why it's wrong, wrong, wrong.
Ice replies: Thank you for your input Carla.
Chaz babbles: "swimsuit zelda GIMMY GIMMY GIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anders writes: A quote from IZC... I mean ZeldaSpirit's letters page:I'm bolding IZC every time I mention it out of respect ... for myself. - Ice
Ice replies: swimsuit zelda GIMMY GIMMY GIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chaz adds: See? He's not a loser.
Andrea writes: Woa, you printed my letter!
Ice replies: I don't know why, but this e-mail just cracked me up. I had to print it.
Chaz adds: Alright... now I agree with Anders. Ice is a loser.
Ice: Another edition has come and gone. First of all, I'm not a loser. I just find many aspects of normal life that everyone else can do to be extremely challenging.
Lots more was said today about our dear swimsuit Zelda. I wouldn't be surprised if Nintendo featured a scantily clad Zelda in a future game, after reading all of this. It would make a lot of kids happy.It would make quite a few people unhappy, though, myself included. Like Vyctori remarked in the last edition, the Legend of Zelda series is a kid-friendly series. I try to make this site fairly kid-friendly too ... to the point where I debated a little bit about printing Allison and Carla's letters. Ball plucking and usage of the word "sex" aren't really something I habitually do here at Zelda Spirit.I don't know why I'm still typing. I have nothing important to say. Nothing at all, really. I'll see you later my friends. And as always, thanks for reading. I know this one was kinda painful ...
Have something to say? E-mail the editor at firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll probably print your letter. We'll print anything.