May 17th, 2003
We've got a nice variety of letters for you today, folks. Some of them are a month and a half old ...
Two of them are about Swimsuit Zelda. You know, the one Andy keeps in his closet. I'm not sure I'm ever gonna stop printing letters about it. It's just too weird.
Keep e-mailing us at email@example.com. We love hearing from you.
Shawn writes: Dear ZELDAcorp.I love your games.I"m just asking if we"ll mabe if you could send me ZELDA THE ORACLE OF AGES forGame Boy and My name is Shawn Goff. PS: I"m a CANADIAN.
Ice replies: I realize that you're probably very young, so I won't be too hard on you Shawn. For one thing, we don't make the Zelda games. Nintendo does. You can find them at Nintendo.com. Second of all, even if we were Nintendo, we wouldn't send you a game for free. Selling games is how these companies make money. And plus, Oracle of Ages was made by Capcom ... maybe it was distributed by Nintendo or something, I dunno. Either way, you're asking the wrong people.
Chaz adds: Canadian, huh? Most of our readers are American, and you're not representing your country very well.
Marky writes: You know, A message board would be 10 times better than this email then a couple days later reply ****. Just do it!!!! Yay!!!
Ice replies: I've done message boards for my sites in the past, and I generally don't like running them. There are tons of Zelda message boards that people can belong to. I don't see how having another one is going to do any good. Plus, all the sites have message boards. This letters thing is something somewhat unique. And it's something I've always done. So sorry Marky, I realize that in a way a message board would be better, but this is how I like to do things.
Linda writes: I know IZC shut down and all, but from a previous letter, it sounds like you can still get there. How DO you do that? Oh, and, by the way, I really like Wind Waker. In my opinion, it's as good as Ocarina of Time(which is a very good thing).
Ice replies: Ice's Zelda Central (I'm bolding IZC every time I mention it out of respect ... for myself) could still be found at Tripod, even up to a couple years after it was closed. And it was revived again in 2001 for a brief (but successful) period. But it has since been laid to rest ... it's a shame in a way. But Zelda Spirit is IZC's official successor, and we're just getting started baby!
Chaz ponders: You bold the title of a dead website out of respect... for yourself? Normally I'd think that was weird, but IZC was a great site, so I'll let it slide.
Ice adds: Thanks ... but seeing as how you're the guy who supposedly screwed the Deku Tree, I don't think you're in a position to judge what comes out of my mouth. Or ... off of my fingers ... as the case may be ...
Vyctori writes: Long time, no write. I like the new layout, by the way. It's very well done.
But that's not what I'm e-mailing about. You asked for my opinion about the swimsuit Zelda issue, and you're getting it! (Be afraid...)
I'd like to start off by saying right now that I find that gamer's request absolutely revolting. It's sickening that he (I'm assuming) would want to have a picture of a fictional character just for the purpose of gazing lustfully at her body. This angers but does not shock me.
For the purposes of my argument, I'm going to treat Princess Zelda as though she is a real woman to get my point across. This display of sexism is disgusting. No thought is given about Zelda's personality. The gamer doesn't care that she is a person with thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. Instead they are skipping straight to the "important" stuff: her body, something that she was born with, something over which she has only limited control. People who ask for pictures of women in swimsuits or other revealing clothing treat females as though they are simply a commodity to be exploited. I don't even need to say how wrong this is.
This is a reversal of everything feminists have fought for over the past decades. By this one request, women have been reduced once more to the status of oppessed housewives and trophies over which to be gloated.
Women are now doctors, lawyers, engineers, mechanics, and work in a whole host of other professions. Yes, outwardly, the world has changed. But inwardly, the mentality of some remains the same.
I hope I never see such a disturbing request ever again, in connection with a game that is as kid-friendly as The Legend of Zelda series. In closing, I would like to say this: the only difference between the solicited "swimsuit Zelda" picture and pornography is...about three inches of material.
Ice replies: A very well-put reply from one of my favorite long-time visitors. Way to go.
Chaz adds: *claps* I agree 100%!
Andrea writes: Swimsuit Zelda? That's just wrong! She wouldn't look good anyways... she's so white and pasty!
Ice replies: Never thought about it ... you're right. Maybe she should go swimming just to get some sun! As long as she stayed away from some of the people that visit this site ...
Chaz adds: Yeah, she's pretty pale. Must be all that time she spent in Andy's closet.
Ice: Finally, poor Princess Zelda is getting better treatment from Zelda Spirit fans. I'm sure she feels much better now that she's got people like Andrea and Vyctori in her corner.
Oh yeah, she's not REAL.
And if there's anything you kids should take away from this whole website, it's that. Princess Zelda is not real. You don't want to see her in her swimsuit, because she's not real. And read over Vyctori's letter again and take it to heart. Treat ALL women, fictional and otherwise, with respect. You guys are too old for me to have to sit here and tell you stuff like that.
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