By Maniacal Clown
It would be awful if I made it through these few days without writing this one. If you're incredibly strange like me, you probably sit around wondering things like, "What does the IZC staff do when Ice isn't around?" I'm here to answer that question...or at least make myself look like an idiot. Either would be OK.
#10: Stop drinking our sodas warm -- As none of you know, there's no way to keep our drinks cool down in our little slave caves other than ice cubes. No power outlets mean no refridgerators or other appliances. Unfortunately, our fearless leader is rather protective of his race. Expect many slaughterings during his absence!
#9: Write stupid Top Ten Lists instead of doing any real work -- What can I say?
#8: Hack into Ice's E-Mail and send flames to websites we don't like -- That would be non-Zelda sites. We love all of our competition. *snicker*
#7: Tar and feather Justin -- Come on...it sounds like fun!
#6: Skip our mandatory "Worship Ice" sessions -- He'll never know! Will he?
#5: Visit other Zelda message boards -- It feels good to get some fresh air. The slave caverns can get stuffy!
#4: Work on Sundays -- Technically, it isn't really "fun," but it gives me another update and more exposure. I have big dreams. ;)
#3: Insult each other -- See the message board thread entitled "Where the heck!?"
#2: Watch football -- Sure, we do this a lot anyway, but it's usually reserved for breaks from our endless labor. All we had to do was smuggle in a battery-powered television and A LOT of Duracell Ultras!
AND THE NUMBER ONE FUN THING TO WHILE ICE IS AWAY IS.........
#1: Miss updates -- We throw wild parties instead!
Once again...another pointless update, but we wouldn't want to lose our "premier site for updating" status, would we? Would we? Answer me! *crickets chirping* Ah geez....
He Doesn't Use Drugs; His Dreams are Frightening Enough!