Why the Clown Was Wrong

By Maniacal Clown

Well, the big Y2K is a mere hours away, and the poor Clown is still hard at work. Probably my punishment for last week's editorial, "Concerning Secrets." It's not really my fault, though. The whole thing wasn't explained to me until Christmas day. This time, I vow to finally put the story of the famed Miyamoto interview to rest. Or at least raise some all new, more interesting questions.

For starters, the interview is indeed faked. There is no new secret waiting to be revealed in Zelda 64. It's too bad, really. You see, I was thinking, "Tetraforce, baby! Tetraforce!" But alas, we've been fooled again. In fact, the only difference between this hoax and the famous Ariana hoax is that it originated from within our blessed circle of Zelda websites.

So, which one is it? It's not that site with the letters that come after Y, G, and P, believe it or not. It's one that, recently, has become one of the most trusted sources in the ring. Zeldapower.com. Did you see that one coming? Didn't think so.

Now you're probably wondering where the evidence is. Well you're in luck because we don't just throw a few paragraphs on the main page like a certain other site. We hand you the proof in a little segment I like to call, "The ClownPeople's Court!"

Exhibit A, compare the text of the "Miyamoto Interview" with that of the normal writing of the webmaster. Notice anything? One with an adept eye will notice the same grammatical errors in both. If you're having touble seeing it, look at the text in an update and then the text of the interview. You should notice that there seems to be an overabundance of run-on sentences and various comma mistakes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if this appeared in a magazine, wouldn't the editor have caught those?

Not enough evidence you say? Well here's the killer, exhibit B. It seems that IZC was contacted by the same "Source in Japan" as is seen in the December 20th news article at zeldapower.com. Being the untrusting individuals we are, we performed a simple IP trace. The results weren't too surprising. The source doesn't live in Japan. In fact, he lives in Arizona, the same place as the webmaster of zeldapower.com.

Well, the verdict is in. The Honorable Judge Maniacal Clown finds zeldapower.com guilty of internet fraud and making us all look like idiots. He sentences them to forever bare the ridicule and humiliation of their visitors. Court is ajourned.

Until next week, remember this: Fabricating hoaxes...DOESN'T PAY!

~The Honorable Judge Maniacal Clown