Something Different

By Drizzt

My last editorial was a little bit off the wall, and this one might be even more so. I would like to expand (sort of) on Christian Warrior's editorial of horse or jack-***. I agree totally with him about the phobia deal, and think that it's one of the major flaws in the game. In my opinion Epona is the latter, a jack-***. I think that the even if the horse isn't going to go over the root then she should just stop, instead of rearing up on her back two feet for ten seconds. I think that that horse is the most annoying thing in the game. There are other things in the game that annoy me as well. One is the lack of comedy. Has anybody played a really funny game lately? I haven't. I thought games were supposed to be fun. All Zelda is is pointless violence. I think Link and Ganon should be friends. Maybe go fishing together and have a couple of beers, or something like that. There is that convient fishing pond just a few minutes from their houses. Speaking of how the ! pond is so close, that's another thing that I don't like about Zelda: It's too small. Don't give me any arguments saying that it's huge or anything because let's face it, it's not. Sure, Hyrule field is pretty big but what's the point. I would have probably liked the game better if you didn't have to romp through that huge field everytime you wanted to go somewhere. I would have preffered a warp spell, to that jack-*** of a horse. The only reason it took any time to finish was because you had to keep going through that endless wasteland of grass, and those skeleton things, to get where you need to go. I think the one good thing about Zelda was the music. It's enjoyable. What's up with the golden scale? You waste hours of your time sitting in some tiny fishing pond just so you can catch a big enough fish to get a little piece of a heart container. Wow! You can dive really deep! Good boy Link! Do you want a cookie for that? That brings me to my final point of the i! tems. What's the point in having an item that you will onl! y use once in the game? Is there any point in the game where you actually need to use Bombchu? I've never once used one of those little guys, and it hasn't ruined my experience of Zelda at all. Then theres some other items that I honestly can't remember. That's about it. If you read the whole thing down to this point then Congratulations! You win a cookie. Ask Ice for payment. He'll probably take these lines out though. The fact of giving away a few cookies scares im probably. Sorry about the typos. I leave you now with some of my favorite quotes.

"Run you pigeons it's Robert Frost!!!"

And a poem--(not Zelda related but cool anyway)


Out of the night that covers me
As black as pitch from pole to pole
I than whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
Under the failed clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
And under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody yet unbowed
It matters not how straight the gate,
Or how charred with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

I just think that's a cool poem

For Ice: I know it's kind of long, and you can edit it or whatever. Sorry about the cookie thing. I though you might get a kick out of it though. Call it an inside joke. By the way, I don't know where he got it but that guy in France is the one that showed me that poem. Pretty Cool huh? If you see any typos I guess you can correct them. It would probably be better if you left 'em in there. It might make it a little bit funnier. Do you guys normally check for typos? This editorial sucks. It's just something I decided to do so that I wouldn't have to start on my homework 'til later. I actually started writing it in class. The "Albatross", and the "and now for something completely different" were stuff that I got from Monty Python, In case you wanted to know. That's about it. It's really long, huh?